I had no idea that life after my wife’s addiction rehab would be harder on me than on her.
We had only been married 5 years, and her addiction was so sneaky and progressed so slowly that I had no idea she was in trouble. When she first revealed she had a problem with alcohol, I thought she was blowing things out of proportion. It wasn’t until 4 months later and with the help of her friend that I realized she was in serious trouble. She went into a residential treatment facility for 3 months. I was encouraged to go to Al-Anon meetings, but I was too busy.
I thought life after rehab would look something like this:
- Wife goes to rehab and gets ‘fixed.’
- Husband (me) shows her more attention and love than before.
- Wife and husband put this situation behind them and live happily ever after.
I needed a serious wake-up call.
When my wife got home from treatment, things seemed different, and it was a little uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to act. Can you believe I missed how she would call me after a business meeting to pick her up because she drank too much? I missed the arguments we would get into when I would find alcohol bottles hidden in the garage. I even became jealous of her AA time, thinking that I should have been her first priority. I had no idea what codependency was and that I was suffering from it. Life after rehab wasn’t happening according to my plan. I felt like I wasn’t needed anymore, and I became resentful and jealous. That’s when I decided to go to Al-Anon.
Al-Anon taught me how to be happy and full of life – regardless of whether my wife remained sober or not.
I’ve learned that my wife’s sobriety and her life after rehab is just that – HERS and not mine. I’ve learned that things don’t always go the way I think they should go. I’ve also learned that snooping, getting resentful, and getting jealous are big signs for me to get back in my square and live my life.
If you or someone you love is struggling, please contact us anytime at (877) 977-3268.
