Everywhere you look, there’s an invitation to feel festive this time of year. But for many people—especially those in recovery from substance use disorder (SUD) or alcohol use disorder (AUD), those living with dual diagnosis disorders, or anyone handling complicated family relationships—the holidays might feel more like emotional heavy lifting than seasonal cheer.
If you’re facing any of these challenges, joy may not come automatically. But that doesn’t mean it’s out of reach. In fact, this time of year frequently reveals small, meaningful openings for joy—ones that don’t depend on perfection, performance, or pretending everything is fine. The key is approaching the season with compassion, new traditions, and a broader definition of what joy can look like.
Why Do the Holidays Feel Hard Sometimes?
Often, there are many triggers. For example:
- When you’re managing an AUD or SUD, you’re often dodging gatherings where alcohol is everywhere, people asking uncomfortable questions, disrupted routines, or memories from past years that bring up shame or sadness.
- If you’re managing a mental health disorder—such as anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD, or something else—the extra pressure to “Be cheerful!” is overwhelming.
- And if your family relationships are strained because of these issues, visiting home—or choosing not to—often adds to emotional complexity.
This time of year also has a way of spotlighting whatever is already difficult. Noise gets louder, feelings are more intense, and expectations seem heavier. That’s why it’s crucial to approach the season gently, intentionally, and with a plan to protect your well-being.
Letting Go of Expectations—And the Stress That Comes With Them
High expectations often lead to disappointment or anxiety, especially if you’re imagining a “perfect” holiday or trying to recreate a version of the past that doesn’t fit your life anymore. Here are different ways to ease the stress.
- Try replacing “I should” with “I can choose.” For instance:
- Instead of: “I should go to every party I’m invited to,” try: “I can choose which events feel supportive and skip the rest.”
- Instead of: “I should feel joyful because it’s the holidays,” try:
“I can let myself feel whatever comes up, and joy can still show up in small ways.”
- Reduce unnecessary obligations. Whether they’re social, financial, or emotional, letting go creates more space for genuine self-care. You don’t have to say yes to everything. You don’t have to travel if it feels destabilizing. You don’t have to cook, decorate, or engage in traditions that add stress instead of connection.
- Permit yourself to opt out. This includes anything that doesn’t support your mental health or recovery. The holidays aren’t a performance; they’re a season. There’s room to shape them in ways that work for you.
Reimagining Joy: It Doesn’t Have to Look Like a Holiday Commercial
Some studies indicate that “barriers to joy included negative relationships, societal pressures, and emotional burdens, whereas fostering positive relationships, engaging with nature, and cultivating self-awareness were identified as key strategies for sustaining joy.”
Merriam-Webster offers numerous definitions of joy, but the main point to remember is that it’s not always loud, sparkly, or cinematic. Joy is also soft, quiet, surprising, simple, or deeply personal. When you broaden what joy means to you, you’ll start noticing more moments where it naturally appears. So, here are several ways joy can take shape:
Joy as Comfort
This could be wrapping yourself in a warm blanket, watching a movie you’ve seen a hundred times, or enjoying a meal with foods that feel nourishing rather than fancy. Comfort is a valid form of joy, especially if your nervous system needs something gentle.
Joy as Connection
Maybe it’s a meaningful conversation with a close friend, a text exchange that makes you laugh, attending a recovery meeting, or spending time with the one family member who truly gets you. Connection doesn’t have to be big to be joyful.
Joy as Relief
Sometimes joy appears when you set a boundary, like celebrating without drinking. It might also be to decline an invitation that stresses you out, or walk away from a conversation that once drained you. Relief is joy in disguise.
Joy as Creativity
Maybe you bake, write, paint, craft, play music, decorate, or organize. Creative joy doesn’t need to be polished. It just needs to feel expressive.
Joy as Presence
This might mean noticing the smell of pine trees, the sound of laughter in the next room, the glow of lights on your street, or the crisp feeling of winter air. Small sensory joys accumulate and soothe.
Joy as Purpose
Helping others during the holidays—such as volunteering, donating, supporting someone in early recovery, or offering kindness to a neighbor—fosters a sense of fulfillment that deepens emotional well-being. Purposeful joy lasts longer than momentary pleasure because it reinforces your identity and values.
Joy as Progress
If you’re in recovery or managing a mental health condition, noticing your progress is a profound source of joy. Maybe you handled a trigger well. Maybe you asked for help. Maybe you simply made it through a difficult day. Each step forward is worth celebrating.
Ensure Your Health Any Time of Year at Great Oaks
This holiday season, let joy be something you welcome—not something you chase or force. Let it show up quietly or boldly. Let it come in the form of progress, peace, meaning, or connection. Most importantly, let it be yours.
Take the same approach to your health. As a fully-accredited facility, Great Oaks Recovery Center outside of Houston, Texas offers various evidence-based and holistic methods that make a true difference in your life. Have a conversation with our admissions team to learn more.
