While it’s true that many people aren’t motivated by positive affirmations such as “I am enough” taped to the bathroom mirror, we should all be more mindful of our negative self-talk. In sobriety circles, this is a hot topic of discussion. For example, should you call yourself an addict or an alcoholic? Here are some reasons why these labels might threaten your recovery.
Why What You Say Matters
Without question, we’re often our worst critic. In fact, research firm Genomind calls negative self-talk the “bully in your brain.” It shares data that indicates that of the “80,000 snippets of mental dialogue daily, we tend to think mostly negative thoughts roughly 80 percent of the time.” Just as positive “I” statements, such as “I am enough” can produce more self-assurance, negative “I” statements create feelings of anxiety, depression, and a lack of self-worth. So can calling yourself names.
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) also notes that language such as “addict” and “alcoholic” is stigmatizing and a form of negative bias: if someone else used these descriptors about you as your identity, it would be insulting. So why would you want to identify yourself in the same way? Even some members of 12-Step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are spearheading a campaign to help people stop introducing themselves as “addicts” and “alcoholics” during meetings.
Instead, NIDA recommends that everyone use more “person-first language.” By choosing terms that “avoid eliciting negative associations, punitive attitudes, and individual blame,” we begin to understand that someone has a problem, rather than that someone is a problem. For example:
- Instead of “addict” or “alcoholic,” say “person with substance use disorder” (SUD) or “person with alcohol use disorder” (AUD).
- Rather than “user,” try “person with OUD or person with opioid addiction” (when substance in use is opioids).
- Instead of “former addict,” say “person in recovery or long-term recovery.”
- Rather than “reformed addict,” try “person who formerly used drugs.”
“Person-first language maintains the integrity of individuals as whole human beings—by removing language that equates people to their condition or has negative connotations,” NIDA states. “For example, ‘person with a substance use disorder’ has a neutral tone and distinguishes the person from his or her diagnosis.”
Evolving from antiquated terminology takes time. You may notice that people with diabetes are still referred to as “diabetics,” or someone with a learning disability is often described as a “slow learner.” You can reinforce your sobriety by acknowledging that you have AUD or SUD—valid medical conditions—that you manage in various ways to stay healthy.
Show Compassionate Care for Yourself
Many people in recovery say they refer to themselves as addicts or alcoholics as a reality check regarding their past behavior. There may be a nugget of truth for this tough love approach. However, science supports more compassionate language as an effective path to progress: you certainly learn from mistakes of the past, but also reinforce positive behaviors to move forward.
- Harvard Medical School states that one of the four primary approaches to self-compassion is to “Give yourself encouragement. Think of what you would say to a good friend if he or she was facing a difficult or stressful situation. Then, when you find yourself in this kind of situation, direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.”
- Psychologist Susan David notes that self-compassion is also knowing when not to criticize yourself. “Imagine if a child came to you and said, ‘No one wants to be with me’ or ‘I’m feeling sad’ or ‘I tried to do well in this project but I wasn’t successful,’ would you punish them? Of course not. You’d put your arms around them, you’d love them, you’d listen to them, and you’d see them.”
- The Cleveland Clinic points out that in addition to increasing depression and anxiety, negative self-talk is demotivating. Instead, “try repeating more balanced thoughts to replace the negative ones. Writing down realistic or positive thoughts can also help them take hold.”
- The Partnership to End Addiction indicates that “reshaping our language” regarding people with SUD and AUD not only benefits their identity, but also has a ripple effect. “We will allow people with an addiction to more easily regain their self-esteem and more comfortably seek treatment, allow lawmakers to appropriate funding, allow doctors to deliver better treatment, allow insurers to increase coverage of evidence-based treatment and help the public understand this is a medical condition and should be treated as such.”
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